Two years later....

I guess you could say I took a break. A very LONG break. It has been 2 years, 2 months and 11 days since I last updated my blog. Facebook kind of makes having a blog seem like too much work. For every one lengthy post here on blogger catching you all up on what is going on in our lives, I could save myself a lot of time by posting play by play moments you can see as they happen in much less time. BUT in an effort to stay off of Facebook and write more often...I have started blogging again. I think. We'll see how it goes! LOL. So much has happened and changed within the dynamics of our family in the last two years I could NOT even BEGIN to truly update you. So I will start with this picture to show you the most obvious change! :-)

Keeping up with the Smith's....

It's not an easy thing to do these days. Just this month I've vowed not to say yes to ANOTHER THING until life slows down just a little. I'm just convinced that if I don't slow down a little, then I'm gonna miss something my kids do. I know I will never sit around and say...."I wish I had accepted that photo shoot" or "I wish I had gone to that meeting" or "I wish we had stayed a little busier during those years"....What I hope to never say is "I wish I had spent more time with my kids. It is the whole reason for my choosing to be a stay at home mom. It is the reason why we sacrifice having the biggest house or the newest car or the most fabulous vacations. I want to make sure I see every moment. And while I think I've done a pretty good job of that, there are days I think we may have too much on the schedule. Compared to most, our schedule is laid back and not that full and I like that. Nevertheless, it feels like we've had SOOOO much going on.

I've done a less than stellar job of keeping you all updated on what's going on with us and I've done so much better in the past. I know you all like to hear what's going on with Braydon especially. So I'm going to try to fill you in on what's been going on.

Jacoby:

Jacoby has been busier than usual for the last couple of months. Besides working and making sure we have all we need, he is singing in the praise and worship band at church and singing at children's church services at Shannon Oaks as well. He really loves helping back there and singing with the kids and I'm so proud of him for that. Here is a picture of him and Chad Houck, Children's Pastor at SOC. These guys do an AMAZING job of entertaining and teaching these kids every Sunday morning!

He also performs at a local restaurant one night a month here in Winnsboro. This is probably the most enjoyable paying job he's ever had! LOL. He just loves to sing and has such a gift. It's good to see him using it and seeing the benefits of it! Here's a picture from his last show.

In March, Jacoby went on his first mission trip to Puerta Panasco, Mexico. He went with an organization call Uthbuild, which helps train and build up youth while also building a house for the disadvantaged. They built a fully functioning home for a family in 4 days!!

He's also doing some mural work, painting and helping out with the designing process of the children's area and youth area of our church, as if all of the above wasn't enough!


Braydon:
So much new info about Braydon, not many "changes" to speak of...just lots of new info. Over the last year, but especially the last 6 months, I've noticed and become increasingly concerned about Braydon's school experience and progress. We've home schooled Braydon for the last 4 years and there are few decisions I am more proud of and thankful for. But over this last year I've noticed that school has become more frustrating for him and his progress over the year has been little to none. For me it was so discouraging to see, because obviously it meant that there was a big problem with him OR that I wasn't doing the right things to teach him. That's a scary feeling. I expressed this concern to two of the three specialist that treat Braydon and they both had the same opinion. Braydon has been diagnosed with ADD which is a learning disability. If ADD/ADHD is severe or untreated it can actually "prevent" the child from being about to take in information properly, retain it, and put the skill to use because the brain is unable to focus on the task and take in all the details of how to apply the concept. Besides ADD, Braydon has seizures. Obviously, seizures happen in the brain. Most patients with seizures have "partial seizures"...seizures that happen in "part" of the brain. Braydon has generalized seizures....seizures that are taking place in the whole brain. The whole brain is seizing. Which means, the whole brain is temporarily shutting down. Because of this condition, which also aggrivates the ADD/ADHD symptoms, the doctors agreed that Braydon is actually "incapable" of taking in, retaining, and putting to use the information I or anyone else teaches him. Until the seizures are under control, it would be silly of me to expect him to progress academically. That's a hard pill to swallow and so frustrating on so many levels, but then again, it takes a lot of pressure off. The thing we are focusing on now is just loving him, character training and prayer for healing.

The doctor did strongly encourage trying a new seizure medication. It's not a commonly used seizure medication. In fact, most commonly this new seizure med, Banzel, is used in children that have Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome. Children with LGS have seizure that are typically resistant to most mainstream seizure meds. Even thought Braydon DOES NOT HAVE LGS, his seizures have also been resistant to seizure meds so that thought this was a good next option for us. We've been on the medicine for 6 days now and I would say we may have seen a VERY slight improvement. Maybe one less seizure a day. But it's also too early to say. Tomorrow I increase the dosage, so we'll see what happens then.

Please please please be praying that God brings healing to him through this medication. We are so tired of seeing him go through these seizures! On the upside, Braydon's shunt study showed the shunt to be working properly and the opthamology and oncology check ups went great! No changes there! STILL FREE OF CANCER. THANK YOU LORD!


Deacon:
Deacon is just being Deacon. Read my last post to see more about what's going on with him.


Me:
Well by reading what all these three have been up to. I guess you know what I've been up to. They are my life. My whole world revolves around them. I'm just keeping their schedules straight, their house clean, their bellies full and praying for them and cheering for them every step of the way. Some would say, "what do you do for yourself"....well, not a whole lot. Every once in a while I slip away for a pedicure or lunch with a friend. I make sure we all have "quiet time" for 1 hour everyday, that gives me an hour to do whatever I choose for a short while. For the most part, I spend my time giving all I've got to these three men and I wouldn't have it any other way!

TWO!!!

Deacon is two!!! Can you believe it? Two years ago we were blessed with a BIG boy! Deacon arrived weighing in at 9lbs 7oz and 21 inches! His size was a reflection of what his personality was to be. He has such a strong personality. You never have to wonder how he is feeling about something. He is the first person to let you know! He is very aggresive and physical. He prefers to talk through action but his speech skills are coming around. His vocabulary has just recently increased to about 20 words (still a small vocabulary for a two year old but we are working on it). And even some of those words are in his own language, but at least they are close to the word. :-) His regular words are: Moma, Dada, nose, eyes, bye bye, nite nite, NO! (that's his favorite), bobo, rain and GO! (2nd favorite). Some newer words or modified words for him are: hanes(hands), I I (that means ice cream), bwow bwow (eye brow), tee (teeth), baw baw (pawpaw). The only words he puts together are "dat's daddy's" and he says that ALOT! Anytime he sees Jacoby's shoes, cell phone, belt, shirt, food that belongs to Jacoby, money, etc. That's all we hear "dat's daddy's". It's soooo cute! Right now Deacon loves to ride his 4 wheeler, kick a ball, watch cartoons and eat. His most favorite thing in the world right now is to be outside. He can't say outside yet, but that's okay, because remember I said he prefers to talk through action....anytime he wants to go outside, he runs and grabs YOUR shoes and MAKES you put them on....THAT means go outside! :-) We love Deacon so much and are learning more each day how to enjoy someone with such a strong personality. He is such a blessing!

THEN:

NOW:

Family Pictures April 2011

Gimme a break...

Well we are at another "place" (if you will) in Braydon's treatment. And it looks like this...

Our last attempt at treating Braydon's seizures has been different from what we have tried over the last year. Because we had been unsuccessful at finding a medication to treat the seizures and because prayers haven't been answered YET...we decided to follow the advice of a doctor whose literature we had been reading. It was basically a no risk attempt. We simply changed our diets (which was a good thing no matter what), to a gluten-free, casein-free (dairy-free), whole foods diet. No breads, pastas, cakes, cookies, crackers, milk, yogurt, cheese etc. Pretty much only fruits, veggies and organic meats, a few beans and eggs, but that's it. Along with that he began taking all-natural plant and vegetable derived supplements. He was also seeing a chiropractor twice a week, and receiving adjustments that would hopefully help reduce seizure activity. The doctor whose literature we had been following recommended these three things: the diet changes, the supplements and the chiro. The articles stated that 60% of children with tremors, shakes, epilepsy, etc, who tried this combination, had seen a drastic reduction, if not total elimination of seizures. Pretty good odds right? Well, we gave it our best shot....stuck to it and didn't budge once.

Several hundred dollars later and a frustrating 6 weeks of drastically changing every one's lifestyle....Braydon was having slightly increased seizure activity and was unable to use the bathroom without help. It did not work!

Like everything else we've tried for over a year....IT DID NOT WORK!!! During this time our level of frustration and uncertainty and desperation to help our son peaked. We were driving to three different towns, four days a week and our situation was looking slightly worse than it did before. We were all frustrated and exhausted (especially Braydon) from spending most of our week in the car traveling from town to town or in doctors office waiting rooms. When everyone in my home is frustrated and on edge and losing their temper, I know something has to give.

Over a conversation of hard truth and warm tears, Jacoby and I decided it was time to pull the plug on all of it. We decided it was once again time to place it FULLY in God's hands, to take a step back and just say..."OK God, we aren't looking to "the next big thing" to fix him, but only looking for YOU to do what YOU need to do here. But please know that we are so tired. Tired of you doing something in our lives and with our son, tired of being the great parental example everyone pats us on the back for, tired of trying everything within our grasps and nothing working out and tired of praying about something so big and getting so little answers. WE ARE JUST TIRED! WE NEED A BREAK!" And then I wanted to scream..."Do you hear me?"...but I didn't. Sadly, the truth is that some time ago I did stop praying for healing and started praying for a break for all of us. I felt like we needed that more. We feel like for six years now, we've just been trying to keep him alive, scrambling around looking for anything that we help him and establish some normalcy for us all.

Once I let all the appts go and made some small changes back into our "normal" routine, I began to be able to listen again and stop screaming and crying at God. And it became clear to me that we have received our "break". You see, God is still going to heal Braydon of these seizures one day, and he's not freaking out like me because he already knows what day it will happen. And during this whole trial (which is drawing us closer to him to begin with-James Ch 1) I've been looking for a break that fit into my expectations while over-looking all the breaks we've been given. {It's fitting to substitute the word "break" for "blessing" here-I just happened to be using the word break while praying due to my level of anger and desperation}
Yeah my son has seizures and I need that to be over with, that's what my "break" looks like. But maybe the breaks I'm not even looking at or being thankful for is the fact that he is still alive and with me. I mean, I do have friends who have buried their children. Maybe the break I'm missing is the fact that we have the finances to go out and try just about any hair-brained idea we want to to treat the seizures. Maybe the break I'm overlooking is the fact that if we don't have the money to try something we think will help our child, we know several people who would see to it that we did have it. I have a friend on Facebook right now, facing a similar situation, that doesn't have this luxury. Maybe what I'm forgetting is that I have a child who is able to run and play and laugh with his friends, seizures and all, and is not confined to a wheelchair or unable to communicate effectively with others. You see, I have a friend whose son can best be described by the latter part of that sentence. Maybe its something so small and so far pushed back into the back of my mind, something like the fact that I was even able to get pregnant and give birth to a beautiful child to begin with!! TWICE! I have friends who have no children of their own.

I've received my break. I've gotten my blessings...more than I deserve. And He just keeps on pouring them out on me while some days I don't even notice. Ever have days like that?

On a Mission...

UPDATE: JACOBY MADE IT BACK SAFELY FROM MEXICO SATURDAY NIGHT. HE HAD A WONDERFUL TRIP (NOT COUNTING THE TICKET, FENDER BENDER, AND LOSING HIS BRAND NEW NIKON CAMERA). I CAN HONESTLY SAY HE CAME BACK DIFFERENT. WILL POST SOME PICS SOON FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S CAMERA) ;-)


Jacoby and 15 others from our church took off this morning for Mexico. This is Jacoby's first mission trip. Please pray for the whole group this week as they are working in Mexico. Update when he returns!

Overwhelmed...

With the pace of life these days for most Americans...it's easy to get overwhelmed. I'm sometimes overwhelmed by trying to balance housework, homeschool, doctor appts, church activites, personal interests, etc. I'm sometimes overwhelmed by all the bad news I hear in the world today. I'm overwhelmed by the call to share the love of Christ with others and not knowing the right thing to say. I'm sometimes overwhelmed by the amount of work it would take to get this world in a better place and where do you even start? I know families who are overwhelmed with three kids in sports and practices or games every night of the week except Sunday. I am frequently overwhelmed by laundry....just laundry alone. Today, overwhelmed is a feeling known to all of us on some level. And the only level it feels good on is when you are overwhelmed by the love of Christ. I've done many things in my life to not deserve the love and acceptance He has given me. I'm still in awe that He could love me the way He does. And I'm beyond overwhelmed when He allows me to see the world through His eyes. If you don't have a personal relationship with Christ, I encourage you to invite Him in...the joy you will experience, will overwhelm you.

So far away...

In the last 24 hours I've received some devestating news...twice. Sunday afternoon, a friend of mine called to tell me that a guy I went to school with and have known for about 14 years was stabbed and died at 11 o'clock that morning. He was stabbed in his own front yard, one mile from where my mom lives and 2 miles from where I attend church. That night, while reading the article regarding the incidence posted on our local hometown news website, I learned the actual time it happened. It happened at 11:02 am. When I read that I instantly thought about what I was doing at 11:02 am earlier that day. I was in a room with about 50 kids and 6-7 other adults jumping up and down and singing praise and worship songs at the children's church service at our church. And I wondered..."God how could somebody that grew up in the same community as me, just 2 miles from me this morning, be experiencing something so different from me?" I was two miles from him geographically...but worlds away. Had I ever had the chance to share the love of Christ with him? Did I do it? Was I an example of Christ's love to him? I didn't like the answers. I'll just put it that way.

Today I learned that a classmate of mine and a friend of Jacoby's from high school shot himself in the chest this morning and died. And the same questions ran through my mind. There are so many hurting people in this world and when I look at it like that...the objective seems overwhelming...so I will look at it like this...there are so many hurting people in the community I live in. Will I move on to tomorrow and let this fade to the back of my mind. That certainly won't happen for the families of these two young men. And it certainly won't happen if I do what God is placing on my heart.

Please be in prayer for these families and for the entire community of Sulhpur Springs.

Happy Valentines Day...

Happy Valentines Day from our family to you! Hope your day is filled with lots of love! Here are the pictures we used of the boys this year for the valentines we sent out to our families and a few friends! Enjoy!

Update...

Just a quick update. Things are good. Braydon continues to have one to two seizures a day WITHOUT meds!!! Outside of the 20-30 minutes a day we are dealing with seizures things are completely normal. The weather has kept us a home a bit more than we like to be but I guess it's a good change of pace. Deacon has been a little under the weather but just a simple cold. Jacoby is staying busy working and painting and singing. I've been doing the normal routine...school with Braydon, keeping up around the house, CBS and life group. Life is just good right now....simple and good.

The best friends...

This week I went to our "Girls Night" that we plan as often as possible. Busy family schedules usually only allow for one about every 8 weeks or so. It is in these time that I am reminded I may possibly have the sweetest, most beautiful, best friends in the world. I love these girls for so many reasons...for the moms they are to their beautiful children, for the wives they are to their blessed husbands, for the friend they are to me and the friend they make me want to be to them. I love them for all the things we have been through together...births of our children, deaths of loved ones, hard times in marriage, financial struggles, at jobs, with post-partum depression. I love them for all the fun we have together, for the fact that we can be together 6 hours and not even realize what time it is or how long we have been out. I love the fact that we have celebrated years worth of birthdays together. I love that we can sing in front of each other and we all know we are as bad a singer as the person next to us! I love that each of them encourage me to be a better wife, mom, friend, sister, daughter and christian. I thank God for these women in my life! {Those of you who didn't make it last night and aren't in these pictures, please know that this message is for you too! Cori, Carrie, Amy V.}

"Snow" much fun...

Of course the snow is always a big deal in Texas. Even bigger for Deacon because it's the first snow he's ever played in! Last year he was too little to care much about the snow. We had lots of fun this year. Braydon rode his 4 wheeler in the snow, we pulled the kids through it in Deacon's wagon behind the golf cart (we went a little redneck with that I know-but hey...it was fun!) No snowman this year. The boys didn't care too much about that. They mostly wanted to be on wheels of some sort flying through it. Enjoy the pics:

Bombarded with birthdays...

As if December and January weren't hectic enough with the holidays...we have celebrated around 10 birthdays over the last two months as well. Braydon's, my brother in law Shane's, my sister Courtney's, mine, my sister, Caseys, my neice Montana's, my neice Jacy's and three friends! Whew! We didn't make it to all the partys but we tried. Here are a few of the ones we have made it to:

Matthew's Surprise 16th:
Matthew is a friend of ours from church. He definetly had a memorable 16th birthday. His parents did one of the best jobs I've ever seen on a surprise party. Matthew arrived blindfolded at out church with his dad, where about 60 of his friends and family members were waiting. He had to walk a rope across the length of our church parking lot, where he finally felt something dangling on the rope. He was then silly-stringed by everyone silently waiting for him. Once he pulled off the blindfold, he saw that what was dangling from the rope was a set of keys and right in front of him was his first car! Cake and pizza inside the church while a slideshow of pictures of him played. It was perfect!!!! Good job Michael and Sarah!
Walking the rope...

Gotcha!!!

The car!!!

He's very thankful and a little emotional...

Chad Kopal holding Deacon and baby Bethany!



Montana's 3rd:
Can you tell these three are cousins?

Cousins: Deacon, Montana, Braydon and Myani


Shane's 40th/Rock 'n Roll Playdate:
We celebrated my brother-in-laws b-day at their house before he left to go back to Pennsylvania to work. The kids had fun playing with the "paper jamz" guitars they got for Christmas!

Christmas catch-up...

I'm just now getting all my Christmas photos uploaded. It's a big job when there are 485 of them! Here are a few of the memories made this past Christmas with our family:

Christmas with my dad's family...the Massey's:
My baby cousin Chelby and her son Eli

Eli and me! He is so sweet!

Grandma with her kids

Grandma with her grandkids: Dusty, Chelby, me, Shane and my sister Cristie

Grandma with her great-grandkids

"The Littles"

Deacon sneaks cake when he thinks no one is looking!





Christmas with my mom's side of the family: The Tottens/Cassadys
Payton...

Where's Deacon???

Somebody LOVES Christmas candy!

Me and my mom with my nephew Bentley!! His first Christmas-he slept pretty much all the way through it! LOL.



Christmas with my father-figure-in-law's side of the family. These are our children's adoptive grandparents: The Vaughns/Godbolts
The girls: Kaia and Kadence


Kaia, Deacon, Kadence and Aiden

Papa Deacon with some of the grandkids